update 2

April 27, 2008 at 8:02 pm (antipsychotic medication)
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Well, it looks as if my friend is still in the hospital and being drugged out of her skull.  They will put her in a half way place when they find a bed, supposedly.  I don’t know when this last hospital jag started, but if she does not get out soon she will be unable to pay her rent.  She also hasn’t been home for weeks to check her apt to see if everything is ok or whether her “neighbors” managed to steal from her again.

A question:  Does anyone know the average dose of Geodon given a patient?  I was once tried on it with nightmarish results @ 20 mg a day!  She is taking much more.  Could anyone help?  The pro psych drug sites are no help because on them the shrink is God and determines how much is too much.

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update

April 18, 2008 at 8:29 pm (antipsychotic medication, coerced hospitalization, schizophrenia)
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It seems as if the person I blogged about a few days ago is much better.  I think it’s the drugs, unfortunately….Taking the drugs in the first place when she didn’t need them created a dependency and then withdrawal created a psychotic like state…it’s as if her brain now NEEDS the drugs.  Furthermore, she is not sure what she signed and may be subject to coercive community mental health care when she gets out of the hospital.  Elyn Saks, in her highly inspirational book  The Center Cannot Hold insists she absolutely needs antipsychotic drugs to function and she’s brilliant.  She is also a diagnosed schizophrenic.  This person is not either schizophrenic or brilliant, LOL…but the drugs may have given her a schizophrenic brain.  I warned her that withdrawal would be hard and would be needed to be done slowly under a doctor’s care with meds to reduce the effects of withdrawal, but, of course, she listened to the dumb f*ck nurse practitioner who told her just to quit cold turkey after 9 months of use!!!  Antipsychotic drugs change the brain in far less time than that, try about 2 or 3 months for me!  She may be stuck doped for life unless she has the patience and forbearance to quit the poison pills.

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the the empills strike back

April 16, 2008 at 10:27 pm (antipsychotic medication, coerced hospitalization, mental illness stats)
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It looks like someone else I know is being forced to take psych drugs…On a previous blog, I detailed how another woman I knew was not only on a mind numbing regimen of pills, but how she was forced to take them via daily visit from a “nurse” who watched her take them and also a long acting shot.  No one would help her fight back against the community mental health center and the crooked psychiatrist and judge who set draconian regimen up, and she was forced to go along or else have a long stay in the State Mental Hospital.  I really had no idea of her mental state or “diagnosis” via the DSM IV, but it seemed she was not so sick that she required to be that doped out of her head. 

I attributed her situation to the vengefulness of her psychiatrist at the mental health center who had a history of overmedicating patients she did not like.  (I do not think the community mental health places that serve low income clients get the cream of the crop when it comes to counselors and psychiatrists.  I could go on about this for pages and pages from my own experience and that of many others.)  The average doctor (if you can get a real doctor not a nurse practitioner) in a mental health center sees a client about 10 to 20 minutes every few months and asks a pre printed list of questions to the client to determine if their drug regimen still works and then on to the next unlucky client. 

Novelist Stephen White, in his novel Dry Ice (see earlier post on books with sociopathic characters) had a character in the book who worked at the State Hospital after a scandal in his career involving a patient suicide.  Any field that serves the poor is almost always able to attract lousy workers and sociopaths among the dedicated people who truly care.

Anyway, this person has been having emotional problems as of late and had taken the advice of a not-so-caring friend (read: perp) who got her on a regimen of antipsychotic pills.  At first this person was doing ok on the pills, then, she started acting spacy and emotionally flat (called flat affect).  Later, she was having trouble driving and would have had to quit  and take the bus if she didn’t stop the pills.  She then asked her community mental health “doctor” (nurse practitioner) if she could quit the antipsychotics if she could remain on her other pills.  The doctor said yes, but gave her no game plan to get off the antipsychotics.  Getting off of antipsychotic pills is torture because they change the chemistry of your BRAIN.  Many people seem to have a relapse of “mental illness” after getting off the drugs because the drugs affect the brain chemistry in a way that getting off them causes a chemical imbalance.  Dr. Grace Jackson (see above) even says that people who were never psychotic before but are prescribed antipsychotics and go off them will exhibit psychotic symptoms MONTHS after discontinuing the drugs due to changes in brain chemistry.

This is something the money hungry drug companies do not want you to know about, and it’s something your perps don’t want you to know either.  Also, today, antipsychotics are being prescribed “off label” for various emotional conditions that don’t even APPROACH what the docs consider “schizophrenia”, which may be an imaginary disease to begin with. 

In past times, and still in some conservative circles, schizophrenia is still considered demon possesion.  Other people believe schizophrenia is caused by serious vitamin deficiencies. (See about book in previous post by Dr. Newbold).  Prophets in the Bible had schizophrenia type symptoms when they heard from God.  Whether schizophrenia is caused by a “broken brain” or by demons or by gods is up for debate, but it’s obvious that antipsychotic drugs are no cure nor even an effective treatment for the condition or any other condition Big Pharm decides these very strong drugs are indicated for.  This brilliant article says not only do antipsychotic and antidepressant drugs not work, but their overuse has created a larger pool of people with mental illness.  I have heard it say that 1 in 5 Americans have a mental disease.  People talk of being bipolar or having schizophrenia like they used to talk about having warts!  It sickens me.  The enemies of this country will not have to wait long for us to destroy ourselves from within.  While sin and greed will help, madness will do us in.  A teacher in the 23rd century will tell her class:  “boys and girls, what happened was that the Americans all went slowly mad starting in the 20th century…”  They will say we had “such a beautiful mind”.  (not to mention a pretty face but obesity is a different topic altogether)

 

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“gunmen”

February 14, 2008 at 10:34 pm (antipsychotic medication, gangstalking, mind control, shootings)
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I always had to ask questions:  it could be why I’m a target.  I asked why did AIDS just appear out of the blue one day, why do people get so addicted to drugs when life should be good enough?  Why am I supposed to be so damn SKINNY to fit in or find a mate?  Why are people who are supposed to be the closest to God sometimes the worst people to be around?  I asked why everyone seemed different and colder after 1980 and the Republicans seized power (and kept it, Clinton is the best repub president we ever had), I asked why some people just kept getting shit on in life when others seemed to get by without even trying…AND I asked myself and others, who were the SO CALLED “GUNMEN” the news was always babbling about?  It seemed there were these odd stories of “gunmen” going in places and shooting up strangers (or sometimes co workers) with no warning.  It always ended up in the fearful cry for MORE gun laws (can we still bear arms?), more “MENTAL HEALTH” screenings, etc.

Another “gunman” is in the news.  At least 18 injured.  Another man shot up a municipal building after the police has given him over 100 THOUSAND DOLLARS in PARKING TICKETS.   A boy shot up a mall in Omaha last year.  A young man shot up a missions center before going 50 miles away to shoot up a church.  A California woman shoots up the post office that she worked at. They don’t call it “going postal” for nothing.  A “foreign” student at Virginia Tech shot up his school last year and all his “friends” come out later and say how “disturbed” he was.  Later, it was revealed he had been harassed, possibly electronically as well!  The first shooting I remember was the McDonald’s shooting in San Diego years ago.  I asked why then, and I still ask why now, but the answer was always hanging out there right in my subconscious.  I knew it then and I know it now:  they are targets, they got harassed into insanity.  Now the fearful sheeple will cower and ask for more “protection” against “gunmen” and more laws will be passed to restrict free movement.

I am old enough to remember no guards with badges and guns at grocery stores and malls.  I remember not having to go to the court or other municipal building without a metal detector check.  “Security” is everywhere now, even in every strip mall parking lot.  Why don’t I feel safe?  I once watched an undercover security guard on the bus talk into a tiny microphone about a rider he didn’t “like” (dressed wrong or something) and how he was going to harass and/or arrest this guy.  The bus is full of cameras and even voice recorders now.  The driver has a “hot line” to the cops.  It’s still not enough for those people.  The bus is full of perps every time I get on. 

There are cameras watching us at every intersection.  They install cameras in the light fixtures on the interstate so they don’t miss a thing.  Even in the library, one of the very last bastions of “freedom” we have, cameras and guards are everywhere.  Sometimes they follow me to see what I’m reading and/or checking out.  One day, I was reading a book by a conspiracy theorist who died at a suspiciously young age, and 2 guards stood a ways off and talked about me.  I kept my browsing to the fiction section after that.  Talking about this crap is only “OK” if it’s in a book or movie it seems.  One day in a bookstore, I was reading a book about a man who rode the rails..was followed by a railroad cop a few nights later.  What a surprise.  This was a bookstore that made a fuss about protecting the rights of customers having privacy on what they bought, too.  They didn’t want to release records to the police about what a certain suspect was reading before he committed a crime.  I noticed an “employee” of that same bookstore “hanging around” me when I was reading the book.  Oh boy, I feel really SAFE don’t you? 

The grandaddy of all “shooters” were the two Columbine shooters, though.  It felt personal.  As an unpopular kid in school I was continuously harassed and would FANTASIZE about getting “back” at them.  I realized, though, it was just a fantasy, and people didn’t DO that, did they?  Until they did, on April 20, 1999, of course.  Sometimes I even get that terrible feeling that my adult targetting is just an outgrowth of the harassment I got in school put onto an adult level because my “dear” enemies could never get enough of me.  I would see them years after graduating and still got harassed.  I was horrified.  I thought my “peers” had “grown up” and didn’t do that anymore.  If that’s true, all the fancy theories I have had about my targetting concerning the Masonic Lodge, the Illuminati, or satan worshippers is a bunch of crap.  Not that they aren’t involved, or course.  I’m sure all the money has to come from somewhere.  Once a target is submitted for a lifetime of harassment, money is no object, it seems.  I wonder how much it costs to organize all that personnel and machinery to make my life miserable every year?  I bet I  could live well on a small fraction of that.

No one grows up anymore.  “Adults” are just big kids with money, or poor, with even less maturity and even less impulse control.  I even read a book on the subject but it’s right wing slant and object of getting people to agree with the Iraq war and “Islamofascism” put me off.  I read another place that a male in our society is not considered an emotional “adult” until he’s 34.  THIRTY FOUR????  50 years ago, that was middle age, now it’s late childhood.  Well, most of our “shooters” are under 34, should they charge them as “juveniles”?  Not even, the first thing the wing nuts did was increase all sentences to ridiculous levels and started charging children as young as 10 as “adults”.  Babies going away to adult prison for life for crimes a lot of times they did not do but were bullied into confessing to.  Sounds like what they want to do to me via V2k..”confess” to something.  What it is, is just another scam so they can pick on me more.

In the beginning, I thought that Columbine would be a good thing:  people would finally recognize the bullying happens and pay attention to kids who complained about it instead of whisking them off to pill pushing shrinks.  Columbine, instead, decided to “profile” kids who were “loners” to see if they were “dangerous” and needed “care”.  Then I knew that satan ran the world.  About then, I realized that something was going on in my life that would never end.  I scoured the web looking for “it” and found it months later.  Horrified as usual.  Not only was my harassment “real”, it would never end and only get worse.  No one would believe me.  If I complained, I would be considered nuts and carted off to a mental ward and forced to take pills.  I looked and looked for stories on targets whose harassment ended and found none.  A few would have it reduced only for it to start up later.  One even had it stop for TWO YEARS only to have it start up later worse than before.  Sadistic bastards.

Now, the “grief counselors” will swoop in with a prescription pad and a DSM IV in hand.  Whoopee.  The “shooter” stories seem to be coming more and more often now.  Almost every week.  Will the sheeple wake up?  Naw.

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police state

February 12, 2008 at 3:01 pm (antipsychotic medication, coerced hospitalization, gangstalking, police and the NWO)
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I was horrified to see the latest notice that we are not “free” anymore on a forum that caters to alternative news. This led me to the link and video with comments on this scary expose of police abuse.  This incident happened over a year ago and would have been forgotten except for the fact it got out on the Internet for all the world to see.  If not for the expose, only the Steffey family would have had to live with it in their private hell wondering what was wrong with THEM to attract such abuse —much like uninformed targets do.

Ms. Steffey’s cousin had called the police because Steffey had been beaten up by another guest at the cousin’s house.  When the police got there they got into a fight with Steffey over her producing the wrong ID when asked for her ID.   She had mistakenly produced the ID of her deceased sister that she kept on her for sentimental value.  From then on she was treated as a suspect.  Did producing the wrong ID make her a “terrorist”?  Not too many facts are really known about the case except that the officer’s dashboard camera was off when they started confronting Steffey before taking her in, and when she got to the JAIL, yes they arrested her, they strip searched her forcibly, making her sit naked in a cell for SIX HOURS before getting charged with some misdemeanors.  Later, a jury of her shears (sheep) found her “guilty” of whatever the police charged her with.

It took 7 officers INCLUDING MALE OFFICERS to strip this tiny 120 lb sobbing woman!  Only female officers are permitted to strip search a female by law.  Even a male doctor must have a female nurse in the room when performing any type of examination of a female’s genitals. 

The video shows her screaming while it looks like half the jail employees are stripping her.  The police, of course, defended themselves saying it was “for her own good” that they stripped her…I think they just did it for cheap thrills.  They must enjoy trauma conditioning “virgins” to law enforcement creating a stigma of being “dirtied” by law enforcement contact and creating yet another damaged human being.  They also then create yet another ready customer for the psych drugs so many people “must” take now.  If they had thought that she was suicidal, all they would have had to do is put her in a monitored cell and bring in a psych consult.  Obviously, someone wanted to teach her a “lesson”. 

I was damaged as well in a similar way, though not so badly as this woman was.  I had my contact with law enforcement here in this fair city before they found a bed for me at “that dreaded place”.  It is sooo ironic that I must live only blocks from the juvenile jail they took me to way back then.  I think even THAT was planned to demoralize me as I never envisioned living in THIS neighborhood at all.  The “yuppies” are moving in now and things are quieter, but this area was the armpit of the city until about 5 or 6 years ago.

I had run away from another local hospital and left the state.  I was caught by police in another state and brought back her under “arrest” since I had escaped the first hospital because I didn’t feel I was being treated right and no one would tell me when I would get out.  The whole mess, of course, started when I was made horribly despondent as a side effect of taking neuroleptic drugs that were prescribed by a local shrink.  She had convinced my easy-to-convince parents to put me on anti-psychotic drugs merely because I did not have many friends in school and had a rich fantasy life.

The pills made me low-functioning, anxious, depressed and sleepy.  It was like living in hell.  I had been a healthy, though lonely, suburban teenager until the pills and their effects ruined my life as it was.

Anyway, because of leaving the first hospital, I was considered a “criminal”.  Both times I was in the hospital I was put in involuntarily on 72 hour hold but given a “paper” to sign saying it was “voluntary”, probably to cover their asses.  I should have not signed the “paper” and seen if my incarceration, especially at the second hospital, would have held up in front of a judge.  I had the same thing happen when getting fired at a job…”please sign this paper saying you quit” they’d say, to avoid future lawsuits over firing me for nothing.  I was s-c-r-e-w-e-d each time.  They hope that you, the ignorant wage-slave, will think it “looks better” to say you “quit” rather than get fired.  Of course, I’m sure they tell prospective employers you were fired and all kinds of lies to back it up.

When I got back to this fair city (perp hell) I was locked in juvenile hall until a bed was available.  I was in a “day room” with other young inmates during the day and locked in a tiny cell with a roommate at night.  Every time my parents visited me, I was totally strip searched before returning to the jail part of the building.  Instead of going on dates, going to dances, and having fun, I had some bitch looking in my ass for “drugs” my parents MUST have given me.  I was luckier than Ms. Hope Steffey.  It was only one woman looking me “over” so to speak.  A female staff member also hung around when I showered.  Nothing much has changed.  My perps can “see” into my bathroom and observe me naked and “talk” to me over V2k while I’m in the shower…it’s the jail all over again.  Sometimes I wonder if my “original” perps weren’t disgruntled police or hospital workers angry at the fact that I “got away” from the “system” they were trying to get me into and never looked back. (no arrests, no crimes, etc.)  I still get harassed by police and also fire fighters and some city employees.

Because another inmate said I “looked” at a boy in the communal dining room, I was made to give up my contact lenses (don’t know why) and go to bed at 6pm the night before my transfer to the hospital.  For the transfer, I was blind, in handcuffs, and LEG SHACKLES.  Just like a mass murderer.  I rode in the back of a squad car.  If I had had the orange jumpsuit (juveniles then wore their own clothes, two changes a week) I would have been the SON OF SAM for cripes sake!  After that, I, who never had opportunity to need police before, never saw them again in the same light.

I went in the hospital/law enforcement system a nice suburban girl and left an angry young woman with many issues.  It took me years to feel like a normal person and not a patient or criminal on furlough.  By the time I had finally got over my bad feelings towards law enforcement, I was already firmly a target and had yet another unjust encounter with them.  (this time no strip searches).  This has solidified my negative attitude and suspicion towards them in general, even though there may be some terrific cops–at least the TV and countless books tell us so–I see them in a different light than a person who has not encountered them in a negative situation.

Since I have become a vocal target, the local police have laughed and joked about me when I encounter them in groups.  I see them “just driving by” a LOT by my house when before there were almost none despite the questionable neighborhood.  They have also taken to occasionally going around my block and even going through the alley which gives them an opportunity to shine their spotlight in my window.  Sometimes, they will sit in their squad car half a block away and “do paperwork” for an hour.  I also get the police helicopter hovering over my block and have also been followed by the police helicopter when I was on foot.  It made me feel like an ant being picked on by a gorilla.  They have also used small planes to circle over me again and again.  Even during the General Aviation ban after 9/11, I’d still see the “little planes” all the time, so I know they are police of some sort. 

The Steffey case does not shock me after hearing of all the “taser” cases, hearing of 5 year olds in handcuffs after having a tantrum, and of course all the police related shooting deaths that just keep getting on the news.  There was a teen shot to death in the BACK as he fled about 10 years ago. Remember the 90 year old grandmother in Atlanta who was killed when cops came to the wrong house in SWAT gear to make a “drug” bust?  It happened here, too, twice at least.

What I’m worried about is, if non-targetted citizens get such police abuse, what will happen to targets?  The only answer when I hear of a case like this is that the person was a target and didn’t know it.

I kind of put myself on the line with this post being critical to police.  Hope it was worth it to point out that police harassment is nothing new, yet it is growing by leaps and bounds now. 

P.S.  V2k is now using what sounds like a “cops” voice saying “take it down” “take it down”.  Should I?

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Britney?

January 31, 2008 at 4:13 pm (Britney Spears, antipsychotic medication, coerced hospitalization, gangstalking)
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It never ends.  Britney Spears is taken to the “hospital” again.  A little more than a year after she divorced Kevin Federline her career has been reduced to ashes.  This time, it looks like they might keep her.  She is getting the “72 hour hold”.  This time she might get the “pills”.  Oh, how I wish I could warn her off the shrinks, but there is no way to warn her or the thousands of other people who are suddenly “melting down” after being exposed to gangstalking and electronic harassment.  The news says she probably has a mild form of Bi Polar disorder that is being exacerbated with alcohol and drugs.  Strange, how she did not seem to have any “mental problems” before her husband left her.

I’m no expert, but I think her melting point came when it was rumored she heard that Federline and the “love of her life” Justin Timberlake, were making fun of her in public.  It’s what targets deal with everyday:  ridicule and betrayal.  For a pampered celebrity though, it can be too much after having every desire catered to and being surrounded by kissasses 24/7.

It really looks like the end for Britney if she doesn’t get her act together, clean up, get some spirituality, and move the heck out of Hollywood. Will she join the “27″ club?  It almost looks like it.  She needs to start over.  Now she may not have the chance.  It is obvious her family is trying to commit her.  If she is committed, she will have to stay in the hospital as long as the doctors say, and she will HAVE to take whatever “medicine” they give her, or it will be forced upon her via syringe.  If she’s lucky, she will have a good lawyer who can get her out of this mess, and into some kind of aftercare.  After that, she should disappear, grow up, and find a God before it’s too late.  She’s going to need to start from the ground up.  She will have to mature 20 years before she’s ever in the public eye again.

The hospital is sneaky, too.  If she is forced to take “meds” she should always ask to take them in pill form so she can see what and how much she is taking.  Any prescription drug book has color plates that show drugs and different dosages and also the imprint that the pill has on it.  This is mainly for brand name pills.  The generics are different and I’m not sure if the drug books picture them yet.  I know for myself, that the hospital I was in in 1982 gave me my “meds” in a bit of juice so I never knew how much I was getting or even WHAT I was getting.  I was supposed to be getting the same drug that was prescribed to me from before but WHO KNOWS?  It could have been anything.

Also, if she is force hospitalized, she should act as sane as possible to get out as soon as possible.  The longer she is in there, the easier it will be for people to take legal action against her since she will be declared incompetent by law.  She must prevent, at all costs, her parents from becoming her “power of attorney”.  They will take all her money and only dole it out when they FEEL like it.  She will become poor overnight.  Her parents will gobble up all her earnings and she will never see a cent.  She will end up forgotten and alone like Frances Farmer, who was committed to the state hospital by her parents and lived in hell there for years until she used trickery to escape her parents while out of the hospital to “take care” of them.  She later moved to the Midwest where the former movie star did COMMUNITY THEATER until her premature death of cancer.

Britney should also be careful about getting off the “meds” as soon as possible, especially if they are anti-psychotics.  The side effects from these horrible pills cause involuntary facial movement, severe anxiety and agitation, weight gain, diabetes and a multitude of other effects including loss of intelligence and an early death.  The anti bipolar pillscause many side effects but are not nearly as bad as anti-psychotics.  If she truly wants to live drug free later she can keep off all alcohol and drugs, avoid “party people” like the plague, and change her diet and use supplements to avoid relapses.  Of course, if she’s a target, her perps will do whatever it takes to cause her emotional upset and create a “crisis”, especially as she’s weaning off the drugs.  Every psychoactive drug has a withdrawal process even the “less toxic” antidepressants and anti-anxiety pills.

I hope she makes it out of psychiatric hell and can help raise her children again.

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