A math textbook taken at bed….or, another BOOK REVIEW.

I just read a book that was different than the usual fare I read. I just read The Book of Dahlia by Elise Albert a young, new author. Something else I rarely do is read new authors. I usually read classics or from authors that are very established and have much to choose from and usually have a paranoid element to their stories. I wanted something a little different and I sure got it.

Dahlia is a 29-year-old mess up with a directionless life that suddenly is diagnosed with inoperable brain cancer. The whole book is about how she faces dying and memories or her very sad past life.

She is not a battered wife, a prisoner, mentally ill, or desperately poor. Dahlia’s tragedies are emotional. Her family is upper middle class Jewish but very dysfunctional.  I doubt she is a ti unless her tumor is electronically caused.

Ever since early childhood when her parents break up and her brother becomes her enemy, Dahlia is adrift. She keeps on half-assedly trying to find her groove but nothing ever sticks. She drifts through school and college and then goes on to temp work, bartending, and even soft core prostitution before she is forced to give up and let her rich indulgent father buy her a house. She sits around watching movies high on pot and strolling the streets of her upscale Cali town drinking Starbucks.

After her seizure which leads to her diagnosis, she ends up buying a book at Borders that is supposed to be a cancer (rah rah rah you can beat this!) book but Dahlia’s take on it is hilarious.  Her slow decline is tragic made even more so by the attempts of the people around her to “help” her as she is dying.  To be perfectly honest, Dahlia was already dead even before the diagnosis.

Most other people who have read this book focus on the fact that Dahlia had an aimless life and whether it’s appropriate to mourn someone who never “did anything” with their life. I would like to take another view of the novel and focus on whether it is appropriate to mourn for a whole generation of aimless drifters: the progeny of the upper class  Jewish Baby Boomers and Yuppies:   mostly people under 40.

I don’t see how Dahlia could ever have had a real life after reading about her upbringing. No one ever instilled her with values. All she was surrounded by was superficiality and pop culture. She never felt a stinging need to work to prove herself to anyone or to stand up for her nonexistent values.  Her love for her family was deadened by long years of emotional abuse and apathy.  The one man who seems to love her gets rejected by her.

Her peers were either busy starving themselves or preparing themselves for Law School or trying to have sex with every boy that moved. No one had any desire but for more of the same prosperous spiritual deadness that defines upper middle class “cultural” Jews.

They have a long history but no faith. They have the traditions but not the God that is behind them. They are full of comedy shtick about Jewish things and love books on other Jews and movies about Jews and Jewish celebrities but do not know anything about the Bible beyond the little they learned in Hebrew school.

The only Gospel they ever hear is the social Gospel of do gooding which is sort of comfortable sub culture in and of itself. Endless cycles of fundraising, and dinners and pictures on the society pages of every newspaper. Some will quit eating meat because it’s “humane” and some won’t wear fur or even leather for the same reason. They help out the homeless sometimes, they love giving to the disease of the week. They love the little rubber bracelets and ribbons that denote the “cause” you are behind. It’s all crap.

Some of them know the Jewish prayers from their youth and can “doven” with the leanest meanest Hassid, yet, synagogue is just another social tool for them.  When the rabbi gets up to preach the sermon it’s just watered down social gospel–there’s no real sermon no conviction no downcast eyes.  Many liberal churches are like this as well.

It’s the children that suffer the most from these social climbing Jews-in-name-only even if they don’t appear to be suffering.  They look well fed (some of them), well dressed, and very “articulate”, but they are dead inside.  Like Dahlia, they sort of drift through high school and college partying and f*cking until they “decide” on a career some way towards the end of college wherein they go to graduate school and become a newly minted Yuppie with a mortgage, a shul membership, a late model car, and a scrawny insecure emotional wife.  Then they try to survive in this shitty economy and with a looming dictatorship.  They go thousands of dollars into debt to perpetuate an “image” to their equally self centered friends and neighbors.  They know every brand name of shoes out there but know almost nothing of the Bible.  They must  keep working  to pay on the debt…..it’s death in the flesh.

Terms such as “good” and “evil” mean nothing to them.  A few will have setbacks in life and end up getting off the money track and may even find religion of some sort–either that or they go around blindly following one guru after another and one movement after another looking for fulfillment.

A few might find a fulfilling job if they get off the corporate ride and work for the poor full time or get a career that takes them on site in a jungle or desert somewhere working for science or a religion, but not many.  Some will become homeless when they try to fall back on their distant, superficial families.  The ones who do will never be the same.

Some will die.  For some that is the most merciful option barring the fundamentalist belief that all unsaved people go straight to Hell which I don’t totally believe.

Should we mourn this generation, this pampered petted generation, the spawn of shopping malls, manicures and pedicures, USY getaways, laser whitened teeth and fancy vacations?  Yes, we should, because they are dead before they even lived, save for the few that see tribulation and wake up to the real world.  They, too, “never had a chance” even though they never spent one day as a ti.

As a postscript, I would like to add that people who lack direction and principles are commonly recruited as perps.  Being a perp, for some empty souls, gives them “meaning” to life, and by the time they realize they are enslaved for life, it’s too late.  How many little preppy yuppie sluts “got into perping” after realizing life had nothing for them since they failed to plan or even to make the most of what they had?

I was just messing around on the computer when I decided to google someone I used to know years ago after reading a post by a forum member who did some research and pretty much found the source of her stalking.

I used to know this man years ago and he was my friend (or so I thought) right before my stalking started. The person who introduced me to him I thought was a friend as well, or so I thought.  He was very kind to me and made me feel I could trust in him and confide in him. Later, a couple of years after the shit started in earnest, he “turned” on me and started treating his “friend” like shit, but, I figured that “everyone else” turns on me so it just fit the pattern.

Strangely enough he sort of remained in my life even though I had nothing to do with him as a friend. I’d see him all the time but he’d treat me worse and worse till it got to the point he would not even say “hi” to me. Of course, I blamed myself: I was too difficult, too fat, etc.

Turns out our boy is a MASON. Bet this mofo started the shit on me back in the 1980s. Why, I don’t know. He never acted angry at me and I don’t remember doing anything to him that would make him angry. There were rumors that he was having affairs outside his marriage with certain members of a vulnerable population, but, he never ever even kind of came on to me. He was a gentleman. I think I suspected he was “messing around” with another friend I had that “turned” on me not long after I knew this man but I never looked into it since she was not that good looking and he was kinda hot back in the day.  This lady had “connections” since her husband was in the entertainment industry in town, so, maybe our boy decided I was vulnerable and stupid enough not to catch on a conspiracy was hatching around me for years.  He was right.

This is not to say that all Masons are perps, but, as this man knew me around the beginning of my stalking and knew too much about me, and also since my grandfather was a high ranking Mason, I wonder.

Even back in the day when we were friendly I noticed he seemingly sabotaged me when I needed him the most but fluffed it off to him being unfamiliar with the situation I was having and not knowing what to do.  Now I wonder.  Otherwise, despite that, he was sweet and kind and cute and even though others sometimes complained about him I thought they had just gotten onto his bad side and were unfairly castigating him.  I was proud of my “favored” status with him.  HE MADE ME FEEL IMPORTANT when I went through my life being stepped on. I was so stupid.  And wrong.  He hated me from the start, I bet.

Let this be a warning to you all.  If someone is buttering you up, take another look.

He was no moral icon, having been married and divorced several times, but that had nothing to do with me.  I just decided he picked the wrong women or he had too many emotional issues for them.  Rather, he was a bastard to them and they left him.

I never saw it.  I was young, and he had a nice ass, and, even though I knew even then I was not attractive enough to get a piece of that ass (I was not saved yet) I valued his input as a friend.  My girlfriend back then was uglier than I, how did she get him, if she did?

If this boy wasn’t the main perp that “got things started” then he was one of the few at the top.  He knew things about me that became my main “protocol” over the years.  I had overlooked him.  Well, wasn’t it Agatha Christie that said the guilty one was the one that you suspected the least?

Called the public library of a metro city close to here I read most of a book concerning the lives of street kids in Portland, Oregon. The book is titled All God’s Children and written in 2007.

These kids are not miserable isolated waifs. They organize themselves into “families” with rules. They are also psychopathic and brutal. These are street gangs for white kids. These street “families” have a 20 year history in Portland starting in about 1992 or before.

What I found interesting was the structure of the “families” and how they COULD be how small perp cells work. They are strictly regimented under strong leaders they call “mom” and “dad” and they are brutal. No one knows who will be “next” when it comes to violence.

“Mom” and “dad” tell the kids what to do and also what chores they have in the camp and who they are supposed to go out with and sleep with.  Breaking rules can get punishments like being cast out of the group, ordered to leave town, beat up, “taxed” (where belongings are confiscated), or even slowly, brutally tortured and murdered.

The kids are bizarre, occultic and racist. They love dungeons and dragons and wear “swords” and get called by fantasy driven street names. They are sort of like a bizarre rock n’ roll variety of a gang of skinheads. They sport cool clothes and mohawk hairdos and love street festivals.  Sometimes they even hang out in a wannabe’s apartment trashing it with drugs and dog feces from the pet dogs they pick up on the street.

These kids are not all children but vary from 14 or so to 32! Their bizarre lack of conscience and coldness struck me. Some of the kids and even innocent citizens got killed based on an unfounded rumor that gets out of hand and some people even get killed on impulse being the wrong place at the wrong time. It sounds like how some ti’s are targetted.

These rumor campaigns along with “punishments”, “taxes” and killings are called the “dramas” and are entertainment for these depraved demonic kids. They remind me of ancient Romans going to the Coliseum to see Christians thrown to the lions.

These kids aren’t Crips or Bloods or any kind of minority gang comprised of poor deprived kids but are mostly kids from good homes where they were loved and cared for. Some of these kids went on the streets for the excitement and rebellion leaving worried families all over the country. Only a few of the kids have real hard luck stories.

One kid left a promising life at college behind to sleep under a bridge with one of these families.

The kids make use of the local social services but only to supplement their lives and get food, etc. They do not want to use them to get off the streets. They will beg change and even work for drug money.

These cushy teen shelters even have massage therapists, yoga and a recording studio. The free feeds they go to have gourmet food, even vegetarian food. It must be nice to live in the Northwest.

I did not get to finish the book as I do not have a card at that library but the main part of the plot deals with the murder of a semi-retarded young woman who gets caught up in these gangs just because she got a part time job downtown and saw one of these cretins hanging out asking for change, and being the naive woman she was, started a conversation. Her naivete got her targetted with a rumor campaign and brutally, terribly killed after she had hung out with the “family” for awhile.

This book was chilling and hard to put down. I can see these kids growing up and becoming the reptile eyed young adult perps I see around all the time.

I could post how I’ve been “banned” from a local grocery whore, or, how is it that writers, musicians, filmmakers, etc. get by with creating books, CD’s, movies, websites, etc..that deal with how bad things are and that don’t get into “trouble” over it. Is is “kosher” if you bury your dissatisfaction with the rotten system in an art form? I think many authors and musicians and filmmakers are hip to our plight and hint around about it and the NWO in their works but do not help ti’s. It’s titillating to think about conspiracies but not so fun to live it. The average consumer can just “wake up” to their “freedom” and think none of it is happening. What really freaks me out is the number of songs I listen to that has lyrics about the singer having “voices” in his/her head.

More to come.

As a ti, I’m getting worn down and quite sick of the whole ti scene on the Web and also very sick of the ongoing ever increasing harassment I’m getting.  It’s worn out my emotions, my body, and now my soul.  But one thing pisses me off more than anything and that’s ti’s that “go perp” and then try to hang around ti’s to gather info on them to get them perped more.  They disgust me on a level I cannot even fathom.

I guess the stupid suckers think life will be “easy” for them if they sell out other ti’s but I think it turns out that the “rewards” of going rat shit are very small indeed and end when the other ti/ti’s they are ratting out stop interacting with them, f*cking up the betrayal cycle.

I think they continue to be ti’s, but are sort of “guaranteed” that certain things won’t be “taken away” in their life if they “comply”.  As of this date no former perp or former ti/perp has squeaked so we don’t know what it is but I bet it isn’t much.

I saw this post from a new blogger here.  He’s a ti, and just started posting here at WordPress.  Read this suckers, and weep.  Oh, and die, you assf*cks.

Have a nice day.

P.S.  You know who you are rat shits.

P.P.S. Never ever make “deals” with perps as a ti saying you will do this/don’t do that in order for them to “let” you do anything!  They will take advantage of it and use it to make you a human puppet.  They will make more and more demands that way and still not keep their “word”.  When I was a new-er ti, I tried to do what “they” wanted me to do and it made no difference–it still got worse and worse every year.

For years I have wondered what, if any, reparations the wrongly imprisoned got for rotting away for decades, sometimes even on death row, for a crime they did not commit, often for reasons they could not control such as being too poor to afford good counsel and race. I thought it was an outrage that these people were only released after a fight that lasted years and that the District Attorney would keep looking for ways to keep them locked up, as if people were chess pieces they had “won” and would hold onto until the end. Even the very few who were freed led lives of fear or re-incarceration plus, where was any kind of remuneration for the lost years of their lives?

I just read an article that stated that Texas has to pay huge reparations to wrongly imprisoned people that have been freed via DNA evidence.

Some people who have been in prison for decades are now millionaires. Not only that, but, they are provided with health care and job training.

The only suspicious thing is the “trust fund” the money is put into. Do the former prisoners get the money when they want it? Are there all kinds of rules attached to it? Are they still kind of treated like de facto criminals by the state despite the fact they have been awarded reparations?

The men in the article seem happy with the situation, but the pain and trauma of incarceration cannot go away and they will have to live with the stigma and fear the rest of their lives.

Our harassers think they will be able to do this to us forever without anyone paying.  What if they had to pay if found guilty of this?  Bet a lot of us would find our perps have dissappeared.

Due to lack of interest I deleted the other blog where I put my LOLs. As I suspected, perps were using the LOLs as a pretense to spy on the blog and once I removed them to a seperate blog they did not follow.

Remember last month and my struggles to collect enough cans to get just a little money and how disastrous it turned out?  Well look at this:  this guy says he needs NO money.  This is even beyond the Dollar a Day couple who lived on only a dollar’s worth of food a day each.

I just read about a man named Daniel Suelo who lives in a cave in Utah and does not believe in money. To survive, he lives off the land and out of Dumpsters and at friends houses. He is of the opinion that money and the money controllers are the root of all evil and a life without money is the only life worth living.

His religious convictions are a sort of New Age melange of ideas and he’s gay, but, his views are similar to Christ’s on money and the people who chase after it.   The controllers have us so busy with trying to attain money and all the stuff it can buy that people lose track of everything else.  We are so busy with fashion, pop music, video games, and everything else we do to spend spend spend we lose track of life and God.

Make money more scarce (which these freaks have done since the 1980s with the weakening of unions and the rise of the 9 headed monster the “temp” agency) and these same people who wish to dress in the latest styles and have the latest electronic toys and huge SUVs find they need a way to supplement their income. That’s where perping comes in for some of these morons. To make do with less is unthinkable and getting yet another low paying job on top of all the others in impossible.

The controllers in their area make perping seem easy and glamorous. It’s a “deal” for these morally dead brain dead shit who have no idea of the evil they are getting involved in just for some easy money.  In the end, they get to be demonized controlled soul dead perp bots while the perp bosses and controllers laugh at them.

I must admit, however, that Mr. Suelo, in all his poverty,  has it over the average ti that is forced to be homeless in that he has lots of friends and a supportive family, something the average ti does not have. He is always visiting (some could see this as mooching) his friends and house sitting for them. He sleeps in their backyards when in town.

He also meets other “freegans,” or people who try to live without money, on the road and no perp operative tries to take his friends away.

Mr Suelo, a native of the southwest, said he felt clinically depressed before immersing himself in this lifestyle despite a good job and an advanced degree.

He keeps a blog and a website which he maintains at a local library, to document his life and to show his views.  Suelo, not so young at 48, says he does not wish to return to society, and when he grows sick and old wants to die naturally and not in some nursing home where tons of money changes hands.

May he live on in God’s blessing and in health and come to see the true Jesus does exist and the fake Church christians are nothing but tools of satan.

OK, here’s a question: does anyone know what this is? I do, do you? If not, find out. It’s one of the latest tools the psychnazis are using to control us.

Here’s a very good site I’ve found. I need to take the time to start reading it all…

The first time I saw it, it reminded me of a food lever in an animal’s cage.  Sort of like something that would be used in an experiment to see how often the animal would reach for the food or other stimuli.  Of course, we are little better than animals to the perp shit and the psychiatrists that kiss their asses.

If in doubt, or you are in physical distress that is severe, please see a medical doctor.  Think twice about running to a psychiatrist or listing “mental” symptoms to your medical doctor.  Even Christian Evangelists are now running to  the pills (they use “meds” at “Christian” treatment centers) so don’t even confess to your pastor, priest, or rabbi your mental anguish unless you are sure they won’t refer you to a shrink or start questioning your mental health to your family and friends.

I.  Some symptoms of Organized Stalking

1. Do people seem rude everywhere you go?
2. Are people nice “at first” then grow “nasty” (this one is for TURNer since it’s a play on words isn’t it?) after several interactions?
3. Are you getting poor service by Contractors and Mechanics?  Is your car constantly breaking down?  Is your computer slow and/or full of viruses?
4. Are you getting rude service on the phone?
5. Are you missing mail?  Is mail late?  Have you been penalized for late bills?  Is the mail you get torn perpendicularly across the envelope flap to “show” you your mail is being “watched”?  Are your packages damaged/stomped?
6. Are people on the street making repeated odd gestures around you?  Are they touching their nose or ears or pointing back at you with their thumb?  Are you being “pointed out” by strangers in public?
7. Are people muttering insults at you as you go by?  Are strangers giving you hateful dirty looks?
8. Are you losing friends and not making many new ones?
9. Are your new friends odd and seem to have an agenda?  Are they overly bossy and inquisitive?
10. Are you recently separated, divorced, or broken up with a significant other?
11. Do strangers act hateful around you?
12. Do strangers try to start arguments with you in public places?  Has it gotten so bad the police have been called?  Were the cops automatically on the instigators side and not willing to listen to you?
13. Do cars shine bright lights on you when you go out at night or shine their brights/spotlights in your windows at night?  Are you followed in traffic?  Do slow people get ahead of you and then others press in behind you as well as on the sides if on the highway?
14. Is your boss unwilling to promote you?  Is your formerly friendly boss now suspicious of you and “rides your ass” at work? Are your professors/teachers grading you “down” for work you would have gotten a higher grade for in the past, ignore your comments in class, and act rude out of class?
15. Is your family acting strangely? Are they treating you differently?  Are you being left out of family functions?  Do you feel marginalized in your family when you were important to them before?  Are you all of a sudden the “black sheep”?
16. Have  you been pressed to see a psychiatrist even though you have no symptoms of mental illness?
17. Do people from work or your ex’s friends seem to just “show up” in places you go to when they didn’t before?

1. 18.  Do you find odd paraphernalia left on the ground for you when on foot?  It could be a single piece of trash, coins, anything that is repeated endlessly and designed to create an emotional reaction.

II.  Some symptoms of Electronic Harassment

1. Are you getting sharp sting-like pains for no reason?  Do you get severe itching especially at night with no diagnosis of a skin condition?
2. Do you have pains in the heart area with no sign of heart disease?  Do you have unexplained headaches that are not part of a physical condition?
3. Do you have trouble sleeping?  Do you sleep too much?
4. Are you always tired even when you don’t exert yourself?
5. Have you had a sudden onset of a severe chronic condition such as diabetes, cancer, MS, or lupus when you were previously healthy and these conditions do not run in your family?
6. Has your physical appearance seemed to deteriorate rapidly?
7. Have you been aging at a more rapid pace than usual?
8. Do you have strange dreams?  Are they almost always negative? (some psych meds can cause vivid dreams so take that into account)
9. Do you have strange pains in certain areas of the body especially at home and especially in certain rooms?
10. Do you suddenly have “dizziness” that won’t go away and no physical cause for it?
11. Are you weaker now on one side when you weren’t before and there is no physical cause for it?
12. Do you have a fast heartbeat even when resting?
13. Do you have constant “colds” or infections that run on for months?
14. Do you have “accidents” at home and away?  Do you fall while walking, bump into things, cut yourself, and there is no physical cause for this?
15. Do you have dental problems/pain where your teeth were healthy before?
16. Do you have sexual stimulation more than usual and at inappropriate times designed to make you feel guilty and dirty?

III.  Some symptoms of Mind Control

1. Have you started hearing “voices” that emanate inside your head, from the wall, or a point in the air around you that no one else hears?  Are they voices of people you know like co-workers, family, friends, or even people who have died?
2. Have you been having thoughts in your head that seem intrusive and that aren’t yours?  Do these thoughts begin with “I” and come at the worst possible times?
3. Are weird coicidences happening in your life where it seems you are prophetic, or do weird combinations of numbers/dates keep popping up?  Do strangers refer to things in public that you have never told anyone?
4. Do you see “visions” with your eyes closed that are disturbing or negative?
5. Do you seem to be “haunted” by dead family or friends in dreams, by voices in the head, or the appearance of look a like actors in public?
6. Do you have trouble concentrating on things that were easy to learn before?
7. Do you have some memory loss/ having trouble finding words/forgetting things at times?
8. Are you having trouble learning hard concepts you were able to grasp before?  Are you having trouble concentrating on in depth reading material you enjoyed before?
9. Are you suddenly clumsy in public and bump into people and things?  Do you now have social ineptness you never had before?
10. Do you find you are forced to say or mutter things are not on your mind to say that are inappropriate and or disturbing in public?
11. Do you have trouble being articulate?  Do you stammer when you didn’t before?  Do you scramble words in a sentence?  Do you sound dumber in person than when you write?
12. Do you feel your mind is being read and this is being confirmed by Voice to Skull and the actions of people in public?  (this symptom is hardest to prove but very real for those who have it.)
13. Do you have conversations/arguments with the voices when no one else is around?  Do they want to “talk” even when you don’t?

These are some symptoms of being a ti.  Some mimic physical, mental and psychological disorders, so see a doctor if in doubt but be slow to run to a psychiatrist unless you wish to be doped for life on mind numbing drugs.

Please see a post I wrote back in February 2008 for some odd instances that happened to me in the beginning that didn’t seem so odd at the time but taken together add up to a disturbing whole

http://downcastmysoul.wordpress.com/2008/02/05/when-did-it-all-start