Downcastmysoul

Seems as if my friend from a much earlier post (almost a year ago today, how is that for timing) is back on forced psych meds. Wish I could tell her that the more she goes on them the more her healthy brain becomes a schizophrenic brain on that shit as it shrinks the cortex. It’s almost a ritual now. Formerly quite stable, she has been regularly in and out of the hospital since 2007, when our friendship pretty much ended (we stopped doing things together and I we did not stay at each other’s houses). I think her perps stress her more since there is no voice of rebellion against the psychiatric establishment in her life to keep the shrinkers out of her life as much as possible. The only “good” thing she gets out of all of it is that she goes to “groups” all week long and has made a few “friends” (handlers) who will “turn” on her in time for her next “crisis” (read: forced med session). If this is the way she wants to live her life she joins thousands if not millions of others on the psycho shit rollercoaster. I met tons of these people living in a psychiatric halfway house and being a “consumer” at a “mental heath center”. They always said I was sooo “high functioning” (guess it’s because I’m not psychotic you dickheads). At least they put her on *another* antipsychotic this time, not the one she was on before. Also, she has a parent who wishes to commit her for life somewhere, I have a feeling, and he is all for her being unstable. He plays emotional games with her whenever she contacts him and is one of the main reasons she has setbacks. I’ve told her not to contact him so much and become independent of the “apron strings”, but she still thinks he has the magic solution (read: $) whenever something goes wrong in her life despite loads of evidence to the contrary. If anything goes wrong, it’s like, “Da-a-a-ad, help meee.” She’s way too old for that. I would like to tell her, if she reads this, that antipsychotics take 10 to 20 years off your life, if you were planning on being old someday, and the quality of that life is shitty being wracked with the multitudinous side effects of antipsychotic drugs. Besides that, having a “flat affect” and sleeping 14 hours a night is not good for one’s self image.

What she really needs is to lose weight, get some real clothes, and to meet a man, not fall for every psychiatrist the state sends her!  She needs to find stability from within herself because the clowns surrounding her will not provide it for her.  She needs to start praying and reading the Bible again too.  She needs to read more and watch TV less and not tell everyone her business.  She needs to grow a backbone, but who am I?

I knew way back in 2005 that they were setting her up for a fall, and I was right (sigh).  The only thing different with her now is she is now set for a lifetime on antipsychotics and much less independent than ever before.  I wish she could develop the discernment to see that everyone who is “nice” to her in not her “friend” and that everyone who is “tough” with her is not her enemy.